The Single Mom Who Feels Invisible at Christmas

Posted on 29. Nov, 2017 by in Blog

It’s not easy, this parenting gig. And single parenting? It can look like throwing a small bucket of water on a blazing inferno. But it’s real life, and a life to be lived and not merely survived. I’d be lying to say that the holidays are “the most wonderful time of the year” or the “hap happiest season of all” for most single parents. While it may simply be one day on the calendar, that day holds enough stressors for months.

Next Sunday as you take your seat at church, scan the crowd. Do you see her?

She’s the one holding multiple jobs, despite being racked by the pain of abandonment. Or the one flooded with shame from having a child out of wedlock. The one widowed with five children. The one who was raped… and kept the child. The one whose spouse left to pursue an addiction. The one who never dreamed she’d be divorced.

But she feels invisible.

Her kids remain well-fed and well-dressed, even modeling ruffles. They come to church. And Mom shows no sign of panic behind her exterior. So do you see her? Even for the happiest, most well-adjusted single moms, running a household on your own is lonely. And every one of them- of us- wants to be known.

God is intimately acquainted with the grief and heartache that comes with the territory of loneliness. That’s what the manger is all about. When God chose a family for his precious Son, He chose a single mom. Mary: poor, young, unwed. God could have chosen any family in the world…families with money, families with status, families with power, families with a mommy and a daddy. But He chose Mary, a single momma.

So find her. Then look at her and tell her that you see her. Tell her that she is enough. Tell her that you care. Tell her that you may not know how to help and you may not do it perfectly, but you can do something. See her. Encourage her. Be her Christmas blessing.

*Practical Suggestions on how to bless a single mom this holiday season (in no particular order):

  • Show up with a meal. Don’t ask…just show up.
  • Mail her a gift card for groceries or gas.
  • Buy her a car wash or oil change.
  • Write a handwritten, personal note.
  • Give her a pair of cozy socks and a yummy candle to relax.
  • Put together a basket of cleaning supplies. (They are expensive!).
  • Sit beside her at church.
  • Provide a gift for her children.


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